It's always a good refreshment to go home when life gets a bit frustrating. And I might never appreciate home like this if I didn't move out. I went back home for 2 days for the year end clean up this weekend. The 'home' I'm talking about is actually my grandma's house in south west of Taipei city. It only takes 20 mins by bus from where I live, but I only go home for several hours once per week, merely to see my grandma and talk to her. Grandma is 80 yrs old now and she's the one who took care of our living when my parents worked. And the house and neighborhood were built as employees dorms since 40-50's. It's a 2 story wood house in Japanese style right behind the botanic garden. My whole family has lived there since my dad was in high school. If the neighbor didn't forget to switch off the stove and the houses didn't get on fire, our house might be able to keep not only the exterior but also the interior as 50 yrs ago.

I lived in the room my youngest auntie used to live. It's on the 2nd floor and the window faced to the main road so the noise can't be avoided. However, window can be opened and the tree right out of the window always brings some other earth lives to the sight, like sparrows, squirrels, cicalas...etc. I used to come up here to do my nature class experiments, like wrapping a leaf with foil paper for a few days and see how it goes without photosynthesis, or growing green beads on the pot shelf outside the window. I moved up to this room since I was 15, and the single bed simbolizes a traditional family's upbringing for an unmarried girl.

I was like going into a time turnnel when I went into the room and cleaned it up. I took out everything, removed the dust, checked if worthy keeping or throwing away, and wipped shelves and mopped floor. I found my old photos- the school time in england, backpacking in europe, events in my second job, coworkers' babies, trip in the states, guys I used to date, family reunion.... and school notes, certificates of merit, grade reports, my shortnotes, journals, letters, greeting cards, collections, and tons of books I used to read. I've kept all my life and memories in this room, and once I started to organize it, it'd always take hours or days to finish it. It's not about cleaning any more, it's about recalling and brushing up old memories.

And when I wipped window frame or changed bags for stored stuff, I felt like going back to that young little girl, who's upset for mom's instruction of helping with house cleaning for the new year but on the other hand quite skilled on folding the wiper to cover up the dirt. We used to take out all the windows, carried them downstairs, and wash them in detergent and put under sunshine to dry up. Also we need to mop the whole 2nd floor area- total 6 rooms and stairs. Sometimes we'd have to wipe out spiders or webs or dried dead insects in the dark corners and at that time our little mind usually got certain level of impact and fright.

Grandma always gets us full and satisfied with some simply food whenever we get home, even if we don't see any food in fridge, she can still gets us magic rice noodle soup or yummy fried noodles. It's also fun to talk to grandma, even if she doesn't understand why we spent whole day on the computer, or why we kept changing jobs and bfs, she still listen and allow us to throw our emotion to her. Grandma's tv dramas seem to be more interesting if watching it with grandma than with friends or alone.

Now I'm back, and I've got to realize how much I've changed, who I am supposed to be, and what I have missed. It's always good to go home.

- My Grandma, uncle's wife, and youngest Aunt