<Sick of Dating Games!>

I know i might sound very cynical today. but what makes me cynical is the attitude from the people around me toward dating or relationship. tell me these are only for sweeping away the loneliness when friends are away from us, when we sit at home along at night, when we feel like being held into sleep, when we need some physical excitement, or when we need someone to go into a marriage with. tell me love is an old fashion that no one really cares about nowadays.

so what's your problem and mine?? everyone told me he/she doesn't think his/her date is what he/she wants, but still goes out with her/him and then few weeks later comes back to complain his/her date to me with judgment or depression. if you don't like that person why do you go out dating with him/her? if you like that person why don't you spend sometime getting to know him/her more and try to compromize a bit or change your thoughts or standard a bit? why don't you try to love someone who you choose to date with but doesn't fit some of your expectation? why people are so afraid of giving away love, or receiving love?

next time if you haven't figured out if your date is going to be your bf or gf, don't tell me you're dating. you're not dating you're just getting to know a person and it's called 'making a friend or going out with a friend'. dating is only for 'serious' potential bf or gf you got what i mean?? i don't care your definition of dating. or you can say you're seeing a sex partner then i'd accept it.

Today i went out with an old mate. i didn't check out my mobile until got home around 12pm. and i needn't to check it out cuz no one left anything to me on my phone actually. my world was quiet, and i'm the only one in it, solely, on my own, with myself.

Tonight i tried to talk to this mate that emotionally i relied on a lot. i started with something which he's not happy to hear so i was given a guilt treatment that i tried to put on an arguement. i felt being pushed away while i tried to get a hand to pull me out of the hole. so i realize my world is not only quiet, but also cruel, callous.

This poor friend... i 'accidentally' gave him a hard time today. i teased him, joked on him, laugh at him, in front of another girl. altho that girl means nothing to him, he still got embarrassed from me. the whole thing has made me on my conscience. i didn't mean to give him a harsh time, and i did it merely for fun, for bringing up some relaxing air, but in some way i felt i did something terrible to him, or even hurt him. not everyone's as confident to himself as i'm to myself. even if he laughs with my jokes to him it doesn't mean he wouldn't mind the teasing. being a friend who understand him so much, i shouldn't have forgotten his major weakness of the lack of self-confidence. so i called him for an apology, while all i got back was 'you were right about everything, no need to apologize...'

well, i just want to say that i'm very sorry for my rudeness and meanness.

Per your words you chose to have short term pain rather than long term hurt in the future. well, being a hopeless romantic, i'd still vote to love and those that love brings up. yes, love is all about the compromise, but the prerequisite is, is this person the one you want? have you seen yourself clearly? do you really know how to make yourself really happy? can this person make you laugh, dismiss your sarrow, and bring you the real happiness? compromising is easy to do if you're flexible enough, but is it worthy doing it? if the answers for the above questions are all positive, then go ahead to love! even if the ending might not be acceptable, at least you've once loved, with the one you 'admire from heart'. this is what you could spend time thinking, dropping tears, being broken heart, whining, getting drunk, doing crazy things... , not to the one who you need only for occupying your spare hours or spare space in mind or for sweeping away your loneliness.

Smart as you're, glad you sort things out yourself. :)

Everyday i learned something new from work. like today i learned the way to determine the packing of different products; last friday i learned the way to avoid the goods being rejected by QC; the day before last friday i learned the way to re-decorate the showroom without messing up the display wall... it's very exciting that you always got things to wait for you to learn on each day since opening up the eyes. even if you've understood the whole procedure you still get chances to learn while unexpected problems come up. i'm very happy to be a newer in the office as i can ask any questions to anyone no matter how silly those questions are. i can also show out anything i've learned in this short time or a little bit of my intelligence to catch people's surprised eyes or win some compliments. i never feel shame to be an awkward 'fob' but enjoy pretty much in being it instead. do i sound braggart again? hehe... i'm just feeling so good and can't help sharing my joy to y'll my dear friends!:)

Look up the sky, can you see a big bright star shining in red? it's mars, the closest planet to us. on aug 27th, the distance between it and us will come to the shortest, and we'll all get to see the biggest mars in this century.

So i had a great time with the sandy beach sea waves and some north american folks this afternoon. i didn't expect it'd end up to be a big group of 9 of us, and three of the girls just got here 2 weeks ago and even haven't tried to take mrt yet. except for the funny jokes and cool conversations, i also went down into the water floating with the waves! the weather was nice, the sunshine was gentle, the water was warm, and we even got a black piggie running around us! a real pig, half size of a man, was having fun digging out the sands with her nose and running in a funny pace while being chased jokingly by her owner. a few mins later she turned to be buried in the sands sleeping comfortably with only her head out. we were sitting on the beach chatting until the stormy cloud came to cover the sky above us, then heading back to shida to have vege pizzas as our dinner (well... those folks are from church... ). the food was ok the music was fantastic and we enjoyed the conversation until a HUGE cockroach showed up on the wall behind us....aarrgghhh..... anyways, fulong is always a cool beach to me and we've already agreed on our next visit at next weekend. guess my sore legs are gonna lead me to a beach dream tonight.

feel free to join us next weekend!:)

Ok, get me out of here... i must have lost my mind....

Is it what they call a 'workaholic', that you don't feel any annoyed but a bit excited about having work at weekend? well... it seems not a good description for a girl... but...... have you ever got this kinda 'passion' to your work? that the more the quicker to get the whole picture of the thing, or rolling your brain 24-7 to think what new can be brought up to the marketplace, what idea would like to be transmitted to the public... the first time you're aware that your thoughts and emotion can be transformed into fortune, and they're not being forced to create, they're what you're and what you're is acceptable... i guess this is right the reason we exist, and one day you'll find your one.

So how am i gonna spend this weekend?
The editor of the magzine told me one day that she didn't finish reading my stuff as she's afraid of falling asleep in the middle... geez it's a report! and i've never done that program how am i supposed to write things in experiencing way? alright alright, so here i am... gotta rewrite and add some 'interesting' & 'fancy' stuff in that supposed-to-be-10,000-words report for a 'can-be-explained-in-2 sentences' program.

If you think things wouldn't be worse, i was summoned by my boss and being granted a significant assignment to study a 60 pages of account regulation and report to him next monday. well... i guess God heard me comlaining being idling around so he desided to meet my wishes. but doesn't He think i need some free time to go out dating? alright alright... i don't have any dates... but at least He gotta give me some free time to walk on the street to 'bump into' someone...

Anyway, what actually happened this morning when i tried to get up before noon to start my work, was i sank into a stupid dream that i unexpectedly got at the other side of the ocean without any preparation as it was only a day trip... (28hrs fly for a day trip!?!???) and finally i and this guy met but only for like 20 mins then he had to leave... i followed his track and called his number... at last i reached him but first time he rejected my visit as he got a 'guest' at his place...

You know what, i'm quite sure it's because of the shock of this guy's new hair style, otherwise his figure wouldn't be that vivid in my dream even would be someone else instead of him with his new hair...... :P

gotta work.

I dreamt about you.

You sat by the edge of bed, looking at me with a big smile, the scent of your cologne spreaded the whole chamber. i was huddling up in the duvet, half-awake, murmuring a morning smiling back to you, in the sight of mine your clean shaved face made you look even younger and elegant, as if a persian prince. i was suddenly awed into at a loss, didn't know what to do but only gazing at you. the moment felt like ages, i fell into your sorcery.

ok... gotta finish 5,000 words tonight and now it's 2,000......
isn't it cool to make 10,000nt in 2 days?:)

yes i know, i rock!:P

Long time no see! you still look good, no, even better. hehe no wonder she'd pick you at first sight!:) oh yeah, she knows she can't look at one's appearance only but she still has to admit your handsome look attracts her again and she can barely resist the charm you reveal! so what is she gonna do with you? you can hardly change yourself neither can she. you and her would never be a happy couple and both of you knew it well. so... probably everything should just remain the same... and it'd be less complecated that she just looks at you smells you slightly touches your hair while you're deeply asleep...

The most happiness in life is to marry someone you love who also loves you; the worst is to marry someone you love who loves others more than you.--anonymous

Feel a bit like a freelance now hehe...:) the editor of ex-company's magazine asked her for taking charge of the thorough report of a trendy program as well as a piece of her travel journal, so after the regular ft job she became kinda of part-ime writer in a sudden. "pt writer!?" sounds pretty cool isn't it? reminded her karrie bradshaw in sex & city, tho she'd never spend $400 for a pair of gucci shoes.

Another good thing today is a sweet coworker kept a cool sample backpack for her!:) now she's gonna off work & back home to work for another favorite pt job!:D

Don't tell me there's no generation gap, that a 40 something yr old guy can still hang out for fun with OUR generation. and don't tell me taiwanese guys are not freaking boring.

so it was this guy's idea, who just got promotion and felt like treating his team out dinner and clubing. well, guess gotta tell some about his background. he's back to single just for 2 yrs, so seemed his night life's back too as well as cigarrettes and other stimulants sometimes (he likes to brag about it a lot). obviously he's looking, and only singles he could hang out are those young team memebers. obviously he's never aware of the generation gap, so he's worked very hard to try to communicate with his young members and joking/flirting around with them and girls. however, obviously what educated him from his daddy still control his behaviour subconciously, so what he was doing in that crappy pub where not many spicy girls or funny jokers showed up till 10:30pm and not many conversation among his coworkers, was taking out of travel guide and other info paper (he's flying to china for biz next week) from his 'backpack', starting reading them under the faint light in the pub......

so don't tell me not to only hang out with foreigners. at least most of them know when should work and when should have real fun!

Couldn't remember when it started. she kept meeting new people and some of them became good or so-called friends luckily but mostly she didn't see for the second time. those are from everywhere around the world or this island, speaking english or chinese, in same or different races/nationalities. they'd commonly smile to each other, asking each other's name and where from, smiling again with nodding heads, trying to bring up more talk, if luckily one side is kinda sociable then the conversation would last longer but if not it'd end up in 3 mins. (to be continued...)