It seems that we're back to love topic again. ok you want love i give you love. today i was singing ktv with my college pal, his gf, and his coworker, we had a crazy time 'racing' our voice and playing 'voice mimic game'--name a singer in each paragraph and mimic the way he/she sings. this whole ktv thing would only be really fun with local mates in similar age group, as we grew up with same songs. so i started to think if i should just find a local guy who got good voice and likes ktving to date with. my pal promised to hook me up with one of his coworkers who's also his good friend and looking. it should be an exciting news and good sign to me right? but a strong voice in my mind kept saying, no no, i don't want any serious relationship! what the hack... tina don't want anything serous!? isn't it what tina keeps looking and desperate for? no no, she needs a man, but not love nor relationship. she's held back and stop being aggressive to grab love. she even thinks love is a harmful game, once joining in, few could withdraw without a wound. well, she just got involved in it too much and deeply before. she needs some time to re-examine it.

So don't tell me how you grew up what you've done in life what you like/dislike how many girls you've ever dated.... i don't have any space for your background in my head and i don't feel like knowing more about your private life. if we're happy hanging out together then we can do it more often. we can exchange our thoughts about movies, people, life, work, travelling...etc, but stay in certain distance of mind and never try to influence any of us. this would be the safer way for me and i did tell every guy i recently met about this. friendship is friendship, casual date is casual date, sex is sex, and no relationship please. not at the moment.

You understand what i'm trying to say? The emotional freedom! that the emotion wouldn't be changed by anyone but well-controlled by yourself. that you satisfy certain needs by looking for the solution but not buying a cow or a farm for milk. at this point i finally got to know why some people can live happily but some can't, cuz they're not willing to cut off the wrong/bad connection neither set their emotion free! at this point i got to appreciate all of my friends around this globe, so whenever i feel lonely i could always get a person to 'flirt' with. hehe!;)